Highbrow Ha-Ha.

Over the years I have acquired a certain sense of the humorous partakings of men as I have rambunctiously traveled the champagne and caviar party circuit, going from fellow to fellow listening, harvesting, and sometimes planting the ever pure conversational seed. I have become quite learned, and through this learndom that I have achieved, I have come to realize that all knowledge must be shared with the cornucopia that makes up the human race.

Yes, even the common plebeians deserve to attain what I have learned through my tireless partying, so here, for all the masses, is my extensive knowledge of what those poor, benign folk which are the plebeians call jokes.

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Q. What did the apple say to the orange?

A. Some like you more and some like me more.

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Q. What did the walls say to the roof?

A. I’ve got you. Don’t worry.

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Q. What did the floor say to the rug?

A. You may be the star but I’m the backbone of your career.

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Q. What did the shoe say to the foot?

A. If I’m going to let you inside me, you can’t continue stepping all over my sole all the time.

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Q. What did the violin say to the guitar?

A. You may get all the girls, but I have a lot of fans as well.

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If I were a banana. I would probably be yellow.

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My friend told me he was buying a boat. So I responded, those are kind of like cars, but for water.

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Q. What did the fingers say to the keyboard?

A. You’re just a middleman.

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Q. What did the grass say to the leaves?

A. Thanks for being my blanket.

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Q. What did the sun say to the clouds?

A. I respect what you are doing, but you are impeding my ability to do my job.

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So a female with blonde hair, a female with brunette hair, and a female with no hair are trapped on a boat by pirates. The pirates say, “Give us all your treasure and no one will get hurt.” The female with blonde hair is about to say something but then does not. The three females give the pirates the treasure and then the pirates leave their boat and sail away. Luckily no one is harmed.

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So a female with blonde hair, a female with brunette hair, and a female with no hair are all about to partake in a swimming race across the English Channel. As they are about to start, the female with blonde hair looks as if she might have something to say, but she decides against it. The three females successfully finish the race, with the female with no hair winning by a hair.

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Ta-Ha! Those seem to capture my humorous senses every time. I would greatly recommend you use these at your next party if you want to fool those around you into thinking you are a sophisticated and funny gentleman and/or gentlefemale.