The Room Sequel Game

You are tearing me apart!

You are tearing me apart!

According to a recent special report by ABCs World News Webcast with Charlie Gibson, The Room (the best movie of the year, which year? every year) may have a sequel in the works. At first thought, this idea sounds terrible and possibly legacy ruining, as Tommy Wiseau is by now entirely in on the joke of his movie. So could a sequel possibly do anything but ruin the greatness of the original? Well that is what we’re here to figure out.

The Room sequel game is played by coming up with the most ridiculous/terrible movie plot concerning the characters of the Room, that would be worth the making of a sequel.

Examples:

A now zombie Johnny comes back to reinstate his best friend status with Mark and try to respark his relationship with Lisa. Zombie Johnny would continue to do anything for his girl.

Denny and Lisa get married right after Denny graduates from Harvard. They then proceed to take a country wide road trip on Harleys and wear Ed Hardy tshirts in every scene.

The exact same script as Star Trek, but with every scene filmed within Johnny’s apartment, and every character played by Lisa’s mom.

UPDATE:

More Plots-

The Room 1 and a half: A behind the scenes view of all of the events in The Room from Denny and the psychologist’s perspective. Especially the multiple sex scenes.

Johnny wakes up from his death in Medieval times and must fight to save his ancient homeland from the Irish Catholics!

Denny decides he wants to start a stamp collection, so he travels the country looking for rare stamps. He meets many old people along the way and they have long conversations about Social Security and the AARP.

A funeral is held for Johnny that lasts 8 hours. Not a second is cut.

Lisa goes into the cake making business and opens a cake store which she names Cake Store. Eventually, her store breaks even. This is the climax of the movie.

Zombie Johnny comes back and decides to join the Big Brother/Big Sister program. He helps an inner city youth pass his English class and learn how to dance!

Mark starts seeing dead people and joins Bruce Willis in a ghost hunt. At the end of the movie, he learns Bruce Willis was dead all along.

Denny starts a webcam series that gets somewhat popular on 4chan and Youtube. The success goes to his head and he buys more “don’t worry about its” from the “don’t worry about its” dealer up the block than he can afford. Trouble ensues, but stops in a matter of seconds and the incident is never mentioned again.

The plot is exactly the same, but with characters that have slightly different names and played by the same actors. He hopes to mirror his success from the last movie.

Now it is your turn. Post your ideas as comments.

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1 Comment

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One response to “The Room Sequel Game

  1. Tommy/Johnny

    The Room II: Even Roomier

    The movie begins with the final death scene from The Room. This time, however, after Johnny mercifully ends his cursed life we see the camera zoom out to learn that it was all just the whimsical dancing of snowflakes in a snow globe. The real Johnny is actually a D-list movie star and Lisa is his plus-size model/actress future wife. Johnny is trying to finance his first dramatic motion picture but cannot find any financiers. A very light-hearted, yet heartfelt scene unfolds where Johnny, Lisa, Denny (now a college professor), and Mark (Johnny’s personal assistant) drink Scotchka and eat 10 extra-large pizzas. A pillow fight erupts and ends in hysterical laughter. After agreeing that women are either too smart, crazy, or evil, Denny and Mark confront Johnny about his failed project and give him the confidence to pursue it himself. “Don’t worry about it, Johnny,” Denny lovingly chides while grabbing the scruff of Johnny’s greasy angel hair. Wiseau takes his new-found confidence and seeks out his Korean friend, Hai, to whom he greets, “…oh hi, Hai.” Hai gives Johny the opportunity to sell illegally imported leather jackets. Years pass by and Johnny has amassed a fortune, almost enough to finance the film. This is shown in the movie by a 45 minute long montage that intersperses sex scenes with jacket purchases. One day, he is taking care of just another routine jacket deal in a dimly-lit alleyway when a white van blocks off the street. Denny and Mark jump out along with 5 other Yakuza gang members. They are armed to the teeth. “Oh, hi Denny and Mark, would you like to buy some leather jackets?” It is then that Johnny discovers that they are not after jackets, but the drugs stuffed inside of them. Yes, Johnny has actually been participating in a drug war between the Korean and Japanese street gangs in San Francisco. But just as Denny squeezes the trigger on his Kalashnikov rifle, Lisa swoops down from the top of the building and sends Mark, Denny, and the thugs running. “Oh hi, Lisa, so nice to see you.” Upon realizing the gravity of the situation Johnny drops to his knees and exclaims, “Lisa, they almost tore me apart!” At this point the Koreans have also fled, although this is never shown in the film. Some slow jam R&B begins playing and Johnny and Lisa engage in a 20 minute love scene. During their passionate love-making a homeless man becomes startled and wakes up from under a pile of garbage. It is Peter from The Room. His life had been destroyed by the very drugs that Johnny was unknowingly peddling. After explaining his life story, which takes 3 hours, Wiseau says, “Hey, Peter, don’t worry about it.” Then Peter, Johnny, and Lisa laugh heartily. Their laughter turns into playfulness and Lisa begins throwing garbage on Peter and Johnny. The camera zooms out as in the beginning only to uncover that this again was only a sliver of reality, a dream of Johnny’s. As he snores the camera pans to show Johnny’s collection of avant-garde spoon art. The camera gives one final view of the Golden Gate bridge and the Full House theme plays. Wiseau can be heard in the background reciting his monologue, “We all have rooms that we create. These are the rooms where we must laugh, play, and cry. Where is your room?”

    Fin

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