Dancing Abraham Lincoln

Former Illinois Senator, Abraham Lincoln, needed some much needed unwinding time after working so hard at Lincoln Says Uncool, so he decided to go clubbing in his favorite Elmo suit. He may also run into his wife, Mary Todd Lincoln (who is crazy), wearing a dragon suit, but who knows! Certainly I don’t!

Exclusive New Moon Pictures

NEW SITE

Don’t worry 3 viewers we are not leaving, just expanding!
We now have a new site called LINCOLN SAYS UNCOOL where Abraham Lincoln graciously tells the world who and what is not cool.
Go and have a look!

I Fucked Martin Van Buren

Walking down the hall to take the ladder up the 12 stories gave me a little time to think: Should I sleep with C-list President Martin Van Buren, better known as Fluffy from The White House?
Earlier in the evening, after showing my fake family crest to get into a tavern of humor and throwing back [...]

Is This A Toy?

It also goes on to say that this is hazardous to children under the age of three. Who exactly is the intended market then?
Thoughts?

HEAR IT FIRST: Vampire Weekend Cover Fleetwood Mac

Vampire Weekend is the best. Here is their cover of Fleetwood Mac’s “Everywhere.”

VW keyboardist Rostam Batmanglij and Ra Ra Riot’s Wes Miles’ side project Discovery has a new album coming out July 7th. Get the pre-released tracks here at their official site.

Gangs of Seahorses Release New Single

Earlier we mentioned George Washington and John Adam’s new rap-rock infusion band Gangs of Seahorses. Despite their recent troubles (and Washington’s controversial misplacement of his panties) they have released their first single, “Love=Love Out.”
Here it is…

Seems like an alright starting effort from these Framers, but we’ll see how the rest of [...]

George Washington’s Missing Undies Found?

After John Adams’ look of horror, we’re sure you’ve been dying to know what George Washington was wearing (or not) during the two’s comeback concert for their rap-rock infusion band, Gangs of Seahorses.
Gangs of Seahorses appeared on “Chin Chin” radio to perform a couple songs and chat with their fans via radio. Upon being asked [...]

I Just Know If I Keep Digging I’m Going To Find Something Really Sweet

This is going to be so awesome. The levels of my excitement are literally off the charts. Why literally? Because there are no charts.
I can’t believe someone would just leave a shovel lying around like that. What a find. What. A. Find. This truly has to be my lucky day.
Not as lucky as that one [...]

A Dissertation on Winning Social Intercourse Via Other People’s Words

Everything that you need to know about winning the contests that social occasions now are without having to think of your own clever conversational content.