Top 5 – Best Positions For The Arsenal’s Newest Member

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An arsenal of weaponry is only as good as the sum of its parts. Therefore each unit within the arsenal must be in the most optimal position possible in order to fully achieve it’s potential.

The newest member of the The Arsenal of Scolenton (right next to Arprismass!) goes by the name of Jay Emmanuel-Cannon Head and has been trying many different positions throughout the last couple of weeks. Here at the Company, we tried to rate which of these positions turned out to be the most effective for Mr. Emmanuel-Canon Head.

5. Beneath a group of scantily wardrobed middle-schoolers.

To be perfectly honest, we are not sure why he even tried this one out. This seems awkward at best.

4. At point blank range.

Although this would clearly be an effective position to be in when combatting enemies such as Infantry United, this seems a bit cheap. Certainly would not be a crowd favorite.

3. On the beach.

As opposed to position 4, this certainly would be a fan favorite. Who doesn’t love a good sweaty, sexy beach scene? Certainly noone.

2. In a museum.

Basing on extensive experience, there is nothing more stirring than a museum. Also based on experience, museums are ALWAYS a good place to pick up the ladies & what not.

1. On a mother-spelunkin’ ship!

Cannon Head is on a ship! Jay Emmanuel-Cannon Head is on a ship! Take a long hard look because this mother-spelunker is on a ship! See, citizens, that was an SNL reference and wasn’t dated and overused at all!

So that’s our top 5. Leave your thoughts below!

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Tags: naked, arsenal, futbol, manchester united, soccer, ladies, weaponry, cannons, tierre henry, van persie, confederation's cup, snl, t-pain