Everything that you need to know about winning the contests that social occasions now are without having to think of your own clever conversational content.
Entries from June 2009
June 30, 2009
Lightning disses Megan Fox?
Wow. As if.
Although we have reported otherwise, as we are the best and know everything, the U.S. press is milking this incident for ALL IT IS WORTH. And then some. The cow is runnething dry people!
In the fresh July 34th issue, the United States of America supermarket tabloid, The National Inquirer, wrote that the “Transformers [...]
June 29, 2009
DIRTY! SEXY! MURDER! The Story of Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr’s Duel of Honor
The spring season of 1804 was a high time for fashion in the town of Weehawken, New Jersey. That is, the fashion of murder.
United States Vice President Aaron Burr, or Lightning Fire as he was referred to by his hookers, had just lost the New York State gubernatorial race to candidate Morgan Lewis, [...]
June 28, 2009
Things to be Said at Parties: Hipsterisms
This may sound like a tactic to achieve confusion, but allow us to assure you, IT IS NOT! Just go with it and you shall sound knowledgement.
Scarves are exactly like the Jefferson Memorial in Washington D.C.
Oh you have never been to Williamsburg, New York? You must truly be a sea anemone.
Call me old, but Vampire [...]
June 27, 2009
Hipster Abraham Lincoln Reviewments: “Blue Spotted Tail” New From Fleet Foxes
Former Illinois Senator, Abraham Lincoln, is a resident opinionator here at the Company. From time to time he opinionates movies, music, & sometimes even other things! As Abraham Lincoln eloquently puts it himself, “I do these whenever it is Mary Todd’s time of the month. That time which happens every month when she forces [...]
June 26, 2009
Global Happenings: Videogum’s Lindsay Robertson Laid Off
This is beyond the worst.
Article here.
For those of you not familiar with Videogum, it is by far the best website (blog format) on the internet for keeping up with internet trends and cultural happenings for a targeted audience of hipsters, comedy nerds, and humor seekers.
Since it’s creation, two authors have taken up all the work [...]
June 26, 2009
Top 3 Favorite Sex Activities of Fruit
As we all know, fruit is by far the most promiscuous of all the World’s species. Scientists that are of the most prestigious say that a fruit’s brain is wired to think of mating constantly, and therefore partake it the act quite often.
Due to the repetitiveness of the action, the species of fruit has had [...]
June 26, 2009
Literary Manifestos From Contributors #1: “A Soldier’s Night Out”
We at the Company eagerly accept literary works from contributors, and subsequently publish those that we feel are of exceptional merit.
Our first contribution comes from sekanblogger.
“A Soldier’s Night Out”
It was a Friday afternoon after a long and dirty haul back to base. We had just finished a week of field manuevers. Me and my pal Tommy who had enlisted [...]
June 25, 2009
Andrew Jackson’s album cover changes
Spot the differences?
Due to the overwhelming responses that Andrew Jackson was a Nazi and zombie sympathizer, Deaf Jam Productions & Entertainment has suspended the release of the album Real Talk until the new album art can be printed and therefore ready to replace the old album art.
If you don’t remember the old album art, that [...]
June 25, 2009
John & Kate Kill Lochness Monster
John Adams
Kate Chopin
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In a heroic piece of history that shall not soon be forgotten, the former President of the United States, John Adams, and his wife, Kate Chopin (author of The Awakening) killed the legendary Lochness Monster of Scotland around 11 o’clock last night.
The Lochness Monster Before Death.
John and Kate, who were visiting via timewarp [...]
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